Is EMDR The Therapy You Didn’t Know You Needed?
EMDR Therapy: It’s Not What You’d Expect—And That’s a Good Thing
When people think of therapy, they often imagine a calm conversation in a tastefully decorated office—perhaps with tissues nearby and a therapist nodding thoughtfully. And while that model is incredibly effective for many, some experiences run deeper than words alone can reach. That’s where Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) comes in.
Despite its technical name—and the initial curiosity it tends to spark (you’re going to do what with my eyes?)—EMDR is a structured, evidence-based approach that helps people process trauma and emotional distress in a profound, often transformative way. Whether you're new to therapy or exploring alternatives to talk-based methods, working with an EMDR therapist in the Bay Area (like myself) may offer the kind of meaningful progress you’ve been searching for.
If you're curious about EMDR but not quite sure what it is, how it works, or if it's right for you, this post breaks it down—science, process, real benefits, and how to find a therapist who gets it.
An Innovative Path to Healing Trauma and MORE
At its core, EMDR helps individuals access unprocessed memories and integrate them into a more adaptive understanding. It's based on the idea that psychological distress is often due to memories that were not properly processed at the time of the traumatic event. EMDR helps unlock those memories and change the way they are stored in the brain.
This process involves recalling distressing experiences while receiving sensory input, such as guided eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones from one side of you body to the others. The goal is not to forget the experience or relive it as it felt when it originally happened, but to reduce the emotional charge associated with it—essentially helping your brain "digest" the memory and move forward.
E for eye M for movement
D desensitize yourself to emotional charge
R reprocess or digest the memory to resolve and move forward
The Brain Science Behind EMDR: Understanding the Theory
EMDR is rooted in the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model. This model suggests that the brain naturally works to process and store experiences in a healthy way. When a traumatic event occurs, however, the brain’s processing system can become overwhelmed. As a result, memories of that event may get "stuck" in their original, raw emotional form—complete with sights, sounds, thoughts, and body sensations.
These stuck memories can become the source of present-day distress, triggering anxiety, nightmares, flashbacks, and negative self-beliefs. EMDR therapy helps re-activate the brain’s natural healing process, allowing those memories to be reprocessed and stored properly.
Researchers like Francine Shapiro, who developed EMDR in the late 1980s, noticed that certain types of eye movements could reduce the intensity of distressing thoughts. She developed a structured protocol that evolved into the EMDR therapy used today. Since then, countless clinicians and researchers—including Bessel van der Kolk, Ruth Lanius, and Laurel Parnell—have contributed to understanding how EMDR works and why it’s so effective.
Who Can Benefit from EMDR Therapy?
Though EMDR is best known for treating trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), its applications go far beyond that. People struggling with anxiety, depression, phobias, grief, low self-esteem, chronic pain, and even performance anxiety can benefit.
EMDR can be particularly helpful for individuals who:
Have experienced trauma or abuse
Struggle with overwhelming memories or flashbacks
Have anxiety that hasn’t responded well to other treatments
Carry deep-seated negative self-beliefs
Want to address childhood attachment wounds
Are interested in alternatives to traditional talk therapy
What makes EMDR especially unique is that it doesn’t rely on verbal storytelling. That can be a huge relief for people who find it difficult or re-traumatizing to talk through painful experiences.
How EMDR Differs from Other Types of Therapy
So what sets EMDR apart from more traditional approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, or exposure therapy?
Less Talk, More Processing
EMDR doesn’t rely on analyzing or re-telling your trauma story. In fact, you don’t have to say much at all about the traumatic event. This is in contrast to CBT, which focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns through dialogue and practice.Focused on the Body and Brain
EMDR bridges the mind-body connection. It’s particularly effective in targeting the physical sensations and somatic memories that come with trauma. Unlike insight-based therapy, EMDR works at a more neurobiological level, helping the brain update how memories are stored.Faster Results for Many Clients
Some people find EMDR leads to faster relief compared to other approaches. While every person’s journey is unique, EMDR often brings noticeable change in fewer sessions than talk-based methods.Structured and Targeted
EMDR follows a specific protocol with clear phases, but it’s still adaptable to each client. This structured approach helps build safety, progress, and integration over time.No Homework
Unlike CBT, which often includes worksheets or thought logs between sessions, EMDR happens mostly in the therapy room. For some, that’s a welcome relief—less pressure outside of sessions, and more focus on internal healing.
What an EMDR Session Feels Like
If you're imagining flashing lights or hypnosis, don’t worry—EMDR is neither. While the eye movements or tapping might feel a little unusual at first, most people get used to it quickly. Many clients describe EMDR sessions as emotionally intense but ultimately calming or relieving.
You’ll be fully conscious and in control throughout the session. The therapist serves as a guide, helping you move through distressing memories while staying grounded. Afterward, people often report feeling lighter, less reactive, or even surprised by how much their relationship to the memory has changed.
EMDR for Adults: A Step-by-Step Process
EMDR therapy follows an eight-phase protocol, each phase building on the last to support healing and integration. Here's what adults can expect in the process:
History Taking: You and your therapist work together to identify targets for reprocessing—these might include specific memories, current triggers, or future fears.
Preparation: The therapist explains EMDR, helps you develop coping strategies, and ensures you're emotionally ready.
Assessment: You focus on a specific memory and identify associated thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
Desensitization: This is where bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping) begins, helping the brain process the memory.
Installation: Once the distress around the memory decreases, positive beliefs are "installed" to replace negative ones.
Body Scan: You focus on physical sensations to detect any lingering distress that might need additional attention.
Closure: Each session ends with a return to a state of emotional stability, using techniques developed earlier.
Re-evaluation: At the start of the next session, you review your progress and decide if more processing is needed.
Most clients begin to see changes within a few sessions, and many report long-term improvements even after completing therapy.
EMDR for Kids: Safe, Creative, and Play-Based
EMDR therapy isn’t just for adults. In fact, children and adolescents often respond incredibly well to EMDR—sometimes even faster than adults. Therapists adapt the EMDR approach to be developmentally appropriate, often using play, art, storytelling, or sandtray therapy as tools during sessions. As a child psychologist and EMDR specialist, I have found this technique hugely helpful for children/youth and parents- I even incorporate parents into child sessions when it is important for progress and change that lasts outside of therapy.
Kids might not have the words to describe their trauma or emotional struggles, negative thoughts about themselves, but they do express themselves through play, images, and metaphor. EMDR works with that, allowing therapists to help children safely process painful experiences without overwhelming them.
Therapists trained in working with children use gentle versions of bilateral stimulation, like butterfly hugs (crossed arms tapping the shoulders) or rhythmic tapping with small toys. The goal is the same as with adults—to help the child’s brain reprocess the stuck memory and replace distress with resilience.
EMDR has been used successfully with children dealing with:
Nightmares and sleep disturbances
School anxiety
Behavioral problems
Divorce and family changes
Medical trauma
Grief and loss
Abuse or neglect
The Evidence Is In: What the Research Says
EMDR is one of the most extensively studied therapies for trauma. According to organizations like the American Psychological Association, the World Health Organization, and the Department of Veterans Affairs, EMDR is a recommended first-line treatment for PTSD.
Here are a few compelling stats:
A meta-analysis published in the journal Psychological Medicine found EMDR to be as effective—if not more so—than cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for treating PTSD.
In a study of combat veterans, 78% no longer met criteria for PTSD after just 12 sessions of EMDR.
Research shows that EMDR therapy can lead to significant symptom reduction in as little as 3–6 sessions for some individuals.
These results are especially remarkable considering that EMDR often works more quickly than traditional therapies and doesn’t require clients to recount traumatic events in detail.
Finding an EMDR Therapist: What to Look For
Not all therapists are trained in EMDR, and it’s important to find someone who has completed official EMDR training through recognized organizations such as the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA). I not only have trained in and outside of the Bay Area with exceptional leaders in this field of therapy, but am a certified therapist in EMDR, which require numerous hours of practice and consultation.
When looking for an EMDR therapist, consider asking:
Are you EMDR certified or trained through an accredited program?
Do you have experience treating the kind of issues I’m facing?
How do you adapt EMDR for children (if applicable)?
What can I expect in terms of length and frequency of treatment?
Many EMDR therapists integrate it into broader approaches, combining it with talk therapy, play therapy, or other modalities depending on your needs.
Is EMDR Right for You?
If you're looking for a therapy that doesn’t require reliving painful experiences out loud, that works with your brain’s natural healing ability, and that often leads to lasting change in fewer sessions, EMDR could be a great fit.
People who benefit most from EMDR are often those who:
Feel “stuck” in certain emotional patterns
Have tried other therapies without much success
Struggle with anxiety, shame, or trauma
Want a deeper healing experience without having to explain everything
That said, EMDR isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. For individuals with severe dissociation or complex trauma, EMDR may require extra preparation and stabilization first. A skilled therapist will help determine the best pace and approach for you.
What If Change Could Feel Different?
EMDR isn’t just a refreshingly different kind of therapy or a just another way to talk about your problems—it’s a different way of creating lasting change. If traditional approaches haven’t quite gotten to the root, EMDR may offer the shift your mind and body have been waiting for.
Next Steps
Whether you’re an adult navigating past trauma, a parent concerned about your child, or someone simply looking for a new way forward, EMDR therapy is a powerful option to consider.
Curious to explore further with me, Dr. Brett Gaynor, Psy.D.?
Check out my therapy services to see how I work with individuals and families, https://www.selahvietherapy.com/services
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